Dutch Art and death… [Living in Holland]

In my head I stretch out my arms to wipe everyting from the table. No, it’s not because I’m getting crazy, but there are just too many ideas running through my head and time is so very limited. Did you know there are only 24 hours in a day and you sleep about 8 of it? Who came up with this idea to put only 24 hours in a day!?

With this limeted amount of time and all those thousands of ideas, there’s not enough time in one day. I try to stay calm, but sometimes real life kicks in. I start to notice I’m hungry and there is nothing left to eat. Then reality kicks in hard. You have to leave your fantastic ideas behind to get something to eat in real life time. I try to stay calm (I already said that…) and look relaxed to all the people around me, but I’m not. I just want to create and keep on creating. I don’t want to know there’s another life just outside my door, outside my own little creative world.

Well, now it’s time for me to get into the real life and do real life time things… like eating and relaxing. Because that’s when you can put everything aside, leave ideas be (but don’t forget to write them down! You can’t leave it be. It’s a habbit…) and start enjoying people around you.

I just got a phonecall from my mum. Now reality kicked in even harder. She told me an aunt of my dad had passed away last night. I know she had a great life and was not doing too great these last months. She went in her sleep at the age of 93. What a great way to go and what a great age! I’ve visited her several times and she kept on asking me the same questions over and over again due to her dementia. She looked so sweet and vulnerable! In groundschool she was one of my teachers. I couldn’t call her aunt Adje, like I used to call her, I had to say Miss Kanters. That was really strange to me. When I was younger (and she was younger too of course) she wasn’t so sweet and vulnerable. She knew what she wanted and didn’t want. I know I wasn’t good enough in her eyes, because I didn’t finish high school. She was all about status in contrast to me (did I say this right?)

TanteAdje27-9-2009Anyhow… my aunt passed away while I was watching a movie last night. It was a really great movie, I have to say. It was ‘The silver linings playbook’. I can truely recommend it. While creating today she was already in heaven. And since she used to be my crafts teacher in groundschool, I think she might have helped me a bit today, because I couldn’t stop. She must have been pushing me so I wouldn’t quit like I did high school. I hope she will find all of her brothers, sisters and loved ones in heaven. Maybe, when she gets the time and wants to, she will keep an eye on me. Rest in peace dear aunty.

These following pictures are details of one of the pieces I’ve made today. I’m making another piece as well, but it’s big and needs more time. It also is a more emotional piece because of the news I heard today and because it’s like a self-portrait in the Erica way (How nice, that rhymes!) I will show it to you when it’s finished, but due to the 24 hours days and the sleep I will need, you have to wait a bit longer. Nevertheless,I hope you enjoy watching these details…